Thankful Hearts

I have to begin by saying a very big "Thank You" to every single one of you who have prayed for Hamp and me in the last 24+ hours. He is doing well for a heart attack patient. The blockage in the artery was complete which caused the blood flow to stop and therefore the heart attack. Once the stent was in, the flow was fine again which did reverse some of the adverse effects to the heart. Obviously your body can't go through something like that and go back to the way it was before, but it does seem that the damage was minimal. We're still waiting for test results, medication adjustments, and the follow up visit to the cardiologist in a couple of weeks before we'll probably understand the whole situation.

He was moved out of ICU late this morning and is now in his own room. As comfy as that is, he's hoping he'll get to come home tomorrow where I will become chauffeur for the rest of the week. He can pop in and out of work for a meeting here and there but can't stay. Exercise is limited until the doctor visit and we'll be watching for side effects of medications.

The outpouring of love and concern has been amazing and such an encouragement...especially to me. For you to fully understand the magnitude of it, I have to go back a couple of weeks and tell you a story.

When we found out we were moving to the Nashville area, we had several recommendations of good churches to check out. We knew it would take a while to find the place we were supposed to land and since it was summertime and regular routines are disrupted, we figured that would probably add to the time frame. We made a list and began with the church closest to us and went two weeks ago. It's in a cool location, the worship time was good, and the pastor taught well from the Bible. There was only one thing lacking. From the time we walked in the door until the time we walked out of the door, not one person spoke to us. Not one. I think two people acknowledged our presence with a nod and a half-smile, but that was it.

If you know us, you know that won't stop us from going there if that's the place God has for us. We can talk to a post if necessary and maybe we're supposed to be part of the solution to that oversight. But it was still a glaring lack especially to someone new to the area. It made us both very aware of how we've been guilty of the same thing. Don't we all gravitate to those we already know and who are familiar? It was a good lesson to be reminded of and one I hope I never forget.

And then there was today. Early this afternoon, my phone rang with a local number but I didn't have it in my phone as a contact so I had no idea who it was. When I answered it, this bubbly voice introduced herself as a friend of a friend of a friend with a cousin thrown in there somewhere too. Turns out some of the precious young ladies who were in our small group in Baltimore were together and concerned about us being here by ourselves with Hamp in the hospital. One of them had gone to college 30 minutes from where we lived and was active in her church during that time. I'm still not really sure how it all ties together but with a phone call or maybe two, we were being reached out to by a total stranger whose only connection to us was that we were part of the body of Christ with a need. I felt like our girls from Baltimore were right there with us as this voice reached out in friendship. We're meeting her tomorrow when she comes to visit us in the hospital. Isn't that awesome?? Ellis, you should be proud!! :)

I share this with you not as criticism of what wasn't done, but for the blessing of what was.  I was humbled at how what to us might be such a small thing to do can mean the world to someone else.  It's something we all need to be reminded of...and now we have been!

Lastly, even as I type this on a blog, I'm reminded just how much the world has changed.  We've all heard the criticisms of social media and how it can be addicting and replace real life, etc.  All of that is true and more.  But it has also shrunk this vast globe significantly and we've seen proof of that in the last day and a half.  We've heard from people all over the country that have been part of our lives - some from as far back as high school - all because of a status update here and there.  I embrace change like it's a porcupine and work hard to avoid it most of the time.  Again, I think I'm humbly learning how God really can and does us all things for good.

Our friends arrived this afternoon so we have company now although we're not exactly going to be out on the town.  The hope is that Hamp will make it home before they have to leave.  Thanks again for all the love and prayers - God is blessing us through you.  Have a safe and happy 4th of July!

I Was Right!

When our kids were freshmen in high school, their schedule didn't allow for many choices outside of the basics since they were on the college track.  We ended up making the somewhat difficult decision to eliminate Geography so they could take keyboarding and learn how to type.  (My apologies to the many wonderful Social Studies teachers that I know!)  It's not that I thought learning about a world bigger than the state of Georgia wasn't important, but more about the fact that my mother made me take typing (as it was known in the dark ages...and on a manual typewriter even!) and it continues to be one of the most useful things I've ever learned.

Fast forward to today.  Our day began as many have recently with Hamp going to walk/jog before the day got away from him.  He hit the weight room for a few reps on some basic things and came back to the apartment to sit on the balcony and cool off.  Unbeknownst to me, he started not feeling quite right, but he came in anyway and took a shower.  I heard the water turn off and about five minutes later went back into our bedroom area to ask him about the grocery list I was creating.  I found him on the floor by the toilet awake, but uncomfortable and feeling sick.  Of course, that shocked me but I have found myself on the floor by the toilet before when things weren't going well intestinally so I didn't think a whole lot about it.  He doesn't like to be bothered when he's not well, so after making sure he was somewhat OK, I left him for about 5-10 minutes.  When I came back, nothing had changed and I decided that it was time to try and get some specifics.  As I questioned him again for a description of how he felt and what was going on, all he could really say was that he just felt sick and like he had indigestion.  At that word, the light bulb went on and I asked him if his chest felt tight.  When he said it did, I realized he was likely having a heart attack.  I then told him we were going to the emergency room and questioned whether he could ride in the car or if we needed to call an ambulance. 

Side note - health care professionals will probably and possibly rightfully so fuss at me for the decision I then made.  Since I knew where a hospital was and how to get there and that it was only five minutes away and that we live in a gated apartment complex that would take time to talk an emergency vehicle through, I opted to drive him.

When we got to the emergency room and got to the window, the girl at the desk asked what was wrong. I told her I thought my husband was having a heart attack and from that point on, things moved in hyper-speed. In the three minutes I was gone to move the car, they had gathered five or six people and they were surrounding Hamp doing their respective jobs. It was fascinating to watch their urgent, yet controlled quickness as they worked. One of them even checked on me in my chair nearby to make sure I was OK as I sat observing everything. As soon as I heard them confirm the heart attack with the EKG, I knew he would be getting a heart catheterization to try and clear the blockage. Sure enough, within a few minutes, the cardiologist arrived, the cath team arrived, and Hamp was wheeled away. I was directed to a waiting room where I was to wait for them to either complete the procedure or let me know he'd be going for surgery somewhere else.

Side note number two - turning on the light in a dark waiting room and sitting alone in a city you've lived in for four weeks and where you don't know a soul is one of the more surreal things I've done in my life so far.

As you can imagine, I had people to contact to let them know what was going on. I also realized that as hard as it is to receive those phone calls, it's just as hard to make them. Word began to get out and people began to pray. And that's when I realized I had been right all those years ago - geography can be highly overrated.

I've grieved more in the last four years over the relocation of our family in its various ways and the loss of life as I thought it would be than I have in my entire life. Yet in that waiting room this morning, I felt upheld and surrounded as if you had been there physically. In fact, before anybody even knew to be praying, God was already at work keeping me calm and Hamp at peace. When I questioned him later, he said he never felt afraid or worried during the whole process of everything that transpired.

Don't get me wrong - if I could live in the same town with our kids and our family and friends, I'd do so in a heartbeat. But that's not what God has chosen for us right now and today I learned that it's OK. He is here and you are here...because what God has joined together will never be separated.

Whenever you read this, take a minute and hug your loved ones a little tighter and if things aren't good with somebody, then make it good. You never know when your day might start off normal only to discover that it will end with a new normal in its place.

Living In A World In-Between

My, what a week it's been! In the last seven days, we had our first overnight guests in TN, I drove to ATL for my sister's birthday on Sunday, went to Passion City Church afterward, took my mom to two doctor appointments on Tuesday, had dinner with friends, and drove back to TN on Wednesday...and our second set of visitors will be coming this weekend. Don't get me wrong - the whole week was great and we're hoping lots of you will visit us in our new setting. It's just that I'm finding that being closer to "home" than we were in Baltimore is not helping the very surreal tension that I live with on a regular basis. It's hard to explain, but I'll try.

We don't live in GA anymore and in one sense haven't had a "home" since we sold our house. No matter how much you decorate, apartments by their very nature are temporary. Heart connections exist in every place we've been and returning to our current location that houses our ever-shrinking possessions doesn't lessen them. Our children have no connection with the last three (counting this one) places we've lived and so my emotions are confused whenever I return to somewhere we've called home. The tension of memory vs. reality is quite exhausting and makes me realize the wisdom of why college deans tell parents not to let their children come home for a while. It takes time to invest yourself in a new place and if you aren't forced to, some might not do so. I would probably fall into that category and I'm mindful of that as I choose when or if to return to former places of residence. And yet, when that's where family is, not going back isn't an option...thus the tension I will more than likely forever live in.

I probably just made no sense trying to explain that and greater minds than mine have wrestled with that very tension of living here while knowing it's not the final destination. Speaking of which, I finally started reading the book, "To Be Told" by Dan Allender.

As I read the following section, I found it sort of helped give words to what I've been experiencing:

The Bible tells us that those who seek God will one day be given a new name:

"Everyone who is victorious will eat of the manna that has been hidden away in heaven. And I will give to each one a white stone, and on the stone will be engraved a new name that no one knows except the one who receives it."

The passage also reminds us that we are living in a world in-between. We are between two names. We know our name; we don't know what our new name will be. The greatest tragedy of life is that most of us, including many of us who are deeply spiritual, forget that we don't yet know our true name.

The book is about learning the story of our life as it's been written so far by God and then joining Him as He finishes writing it. I'm pretty sure the events of our now nomadic lives are playing a very significant part in discovering why God has written things the way He has. It's a journey I'm looking forward to taking and at the same time am terrified to do so. I expect we'll be chatting about it together along the way.

Moving on to a totally unrelated topic, I stayed with Matthew while I was in GA and got to spend some time with his cat, Simba. Simba is just over a year old and he's the first boy cat to grace any of the Jones households. Kit is 14 and Ellie is 7 so they're not nearly as energetic nor as troublesome as Simba is. But there's a part of me that secretly loved watching him misbehave because he lives life with such reckless abandon, you can't help but smile. He's actually a good cat; he just missed out on the discipline stage since he joined a three-male roommate household as a kitten.

For those of you who think a cat is just a cat and the best ones are dead ones, I counter with the following pictures.

This is Kit, the senior cat citizen of the family and her needs are few. All she wants is her lap of choice to sleep on (usually mine), a little food, and now that we've moved, some time on the porch in the sun.

This is Ellie the Wondercat. All she needs is for someone to notice that she's cute, a little food, her pillow to sleep on, and Tiffany. Actually, she could probably do without everything except Tiffany.

Simba gets along fine by himself because he's forced to do so most of the time due to Matthew's schedule. He likes to fetch (really!!) and you know you've been accepted when Moosey is deposited outside your door during the night while you slept. I'm pretending he was sad to see me leave.

With the 4th of July almost here and baseball's All Star game right around the corner, I find it necessary to briefly mention that the Braves are still hanging in there only 4 games behind the Phillies. One of our B teams, the Orioles, are coming to town for the weekend so we're forced to cheer against them this time. Many apologies to our Baltimore friends, but some things are a necessity.

I Wonder Indeed

When I first started this blog, it was because we made the crazy decision to leave the area we had lived for the past 25 years and where we'd raised our family to move to Baltimore so people could keep up with our new lives.  Hamp had an opportunity for a job there and shockingly to our friends and families and even ourselves, we took it. 

That was almost 3 years ago and what began as an adventure has turned into a way of life apparently.  Since that move, we've changed jobs two more times and moved with each change.  The Baltimore job ended suddenly when the plant had a small fire that ended up being the proverbial straw that set things in motion.  The next job returned us to the land of our roots even though we moved about 30 minutes away from what had been our old stomping grounds. 

In some ways that was a harder adjustment because while the debate will range until the end of time over whether this statement is true or not, I have concluded you can't go home again once you've left.  You're not the same and it's not the same.  Because we began attending a church that was in its infancy, new friendships were slow to develop and life events prevented frequent contact with the ones we still had.  The new job was difficult for Hamp from the beginning because he wasn't able to do what he'd been hired to and after almost a year, his boss decided he'd rather do it himself officially.  Between changes in the printing industry and a sick economy, the job market is not what it used to be for those looking for work.  Thankfully, options developed, but in the end only one offer was forthcoming...which required a move...to another state...again.

So here we are - almost three weeks into yet another new adventure livng four hours from what I think we still call home.  But if home is where your heart is, mine began spreading out about 4 years ago.

And today, I'm wondering...

"I wonder what sort of a tale we've fallen into?" asks Samwise.

"I wonder," said Frodo, "But I don't know. And that's the way of a real tale. Take any one that you're fond of. You may know, or guess, what kind of a tale it is, happy-ending or sad-ending, but the people in it don't know. And you don't want them to."

~J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

Week Two

Well, it really hasn't been my intention to just write once a week on Friday. I finally got my pictures downloaded and organized so I'll have something to share with you in the days ahead. I think what I'll do is start from the present and work my way back and we'll see what happens.

First, our trip to the Grand Ole Opry last week was amazing!! I don't think I realized that it's a radio show with a live audience and when it's being broadcast, various artists guest in different half hour segments. I had heard of most of them which surprised me but being in the historic Opry House was really cool.

Lauren and Scotty did make their debut that night and I didn't take my camera because I didn't know if you could. (Yes, you can!) I had a Mom moment when Lauren was singing that most of you will appreciate.

First, a little history. The Opry used to broadcast live from the Ryman Auditorium not too far away. It was the symbolic home of country music and when the Opry House was built, they wanted a way to take some of the history of the stage with them. A circle was cut out of the stage and it was built into the stage at the new Opry House. As new artists sing on the stage, they're joining the history of country music by standing in that circle that truly has been unbroken.

Fast forward to last fall when two high school teenagers joined thousands of other hopefuls and tried out for American Idol. They ended up being the winner and runner up at the ripe old age of 17 and 16 years old. Because they are country singers, they've been embraced by the Nashville family and were extended an invitation to sing at the Grand Ole Opry. Lauren grew up dreaming of singing there and actually came to Nashville a lot singing in little places before 6:00 p.m. when she had to leave because the night crowd would start to show up. Scotty had only been to Nashville once but knew fully the history of the Opry connection and hoped to someday sing there as well.

Last Friday night, their dreams continued to become a reality as their parents stood in the wings on the side of the stage and watched. Because the lights were so bright, the kids couldn't see their parents and Lauren commented to her mom in the shadows that she knew she was there and that her song was for her. As she began singing "Like My Mother Does" which is the song American Idol prepared for her as her first release, her mom was hugged by whoever was standing with her - maybe a sister or a friend.

That's when it hit me - how many times have we all stood on the sidelines cheering for our kids knowing they were the best to ever attempt the task before them and so excited they were trying to live their dream? But Lauren's mom was watching her daughter, who just a few months ago she was sending off to high school and was now singing for her first and definitely not her last time on the stage their own idols have stood.  We get so caught up in our comparisons that we forget we're really all alike in the parts that make us mostly who we are. And that made me smile.

For those of you hoping to see me in my boots that night, well, it didn't happen. It was 95 degrees in the shade so jeans were out as an option and I just didn't have anything I could wear with them. I settled for an airy sandal with a sleeveless dress that kept me from having a heat stroke. :) Soon, I promise!!

I'll leave you with the link that summarizes their Opry debut if you click here and who knows? Maybe you'll become a new country music fan along with me!

A Week Later

Well, here we are...living in Franklin, TN. It will be one week tomorrow that we arrived and we were greeted by the heat wave encompassing a lot of the country right now. Poor Hamp and Bob loaded the truck last Friday mostly by themselves because the local movers hired on that end never showed. (After my review on Movinghelp.com, I'm pretty sure they're off the list of businesses to be referred.) Thankfully, the company in Franklin was amazing on Saturday and they found another guy for us to add to the contract with the two we already had hired. Now to find someone that will empty the boxes, find a place to put what was in it away, take the empty boxes somewhere, and make our apartment look like home. Oh yeah, that'd be us!

Thankfully, other things have gone well. We were reconnected to the 21st century without a hitch which is the first time in 3 years that has happened. I keep saying this because it's true, but it's the little things...

We're more settled than not now and it's slowly pulling together. I don't have time right now to share many pictures because they're still not downloaded and organized. However, I do have something fun to share with you.

The Country Music Awards Festival is going on in Nashville this week with lots of country artists, both old and new, in concert throughout the week at the Grand Ole Opry.

I saw earlier in the week that Scotty and Lauren (from American Idol fame) were going to be here tonight as part of the concert.

You know where this is going, don't you? Billy Ray Cyrus, Randy Travis, Roy Clark, and Mel Tillis along with others I hadn't heard of are all there tonight too. Hamp and I haven't been to Nashville yet, I like Lauren and Scotty, so when I found inexpensive seats were still available, well I had to buy two so we could go, right?  So, our first outing is going to be to a country music concert which makes me laugh just to type the sentence. Me of the "I hate country music" stand in life.

Moving on to another topic in a bad grammar transition attempt, I confess I cried for the first time yesterday since arriving in town. I was mostly sad for Tiffany's friend Emmett's family because he passed away in the wee hours of the morning on Thursday. He's the one I've told you about recently that was in the drumline with Tiffany when they were at Furman. I've shared this picture before, but he's the one on the left with Tiffany at her graduation.

Emmett's finally without pain and is happy and whole in the presence of His Savior that he loves dearly. But my heart breaks for his wife Wendy and their little boy Quinn who have the hardest journey in front of them. If you want to keep up with her very honest thoughts as she processes, click here for the link to the blog they had started when he was first diagnosed with cancer. Also, if they come to mind, please pray for them.

I ran several errands yesterday for the first time and with my GPS it went well. Baltimore was much more stressful because not knowing where you're going compounded with not knowing which streets to not go down or you might die caused much anxiety and many tears. Franklin is a safe community, everything is nearby and it all connects logically; I just haven't figured out how yet. I ran into ChickFilA to grab some lunch and while waiting in line heard all these various people greeting each other and asking about each other's families and it hit me; once again, I'm a foreigner in another city. The feeling of loss that realization brought along with the knowledge of what Emmett's family is going through pushed me over the edge. I made it out of ChickFilA before the tears fell, but I was just hit anew with the reality that we will really never have a "home" again. Oh, I know, we'll make friends and have a community again and we have friends and family in lots of places now. We have the cities we were born in and raised our children in and those will ultimately always be home. But we're not there anymore. And as He usually does, God reminded me that He never promised we'd be home here. We are just foreigners in a land that He said we are merely passing through. I'm a little slow most of the time and as I tried to feel sorry for myself, I had to admit that what I long for simply doesn't exist this side of eternity. We think we have it if circumstances are kind and life is basically stable. I know because I thought that for a long time. But the more common reality is that most everybody has one or more moments in life where the foundation is ripped out from under you and what you knew as reality is no more. I'm being reminded again that living each moment as if it's our last and not getting too attached to anything here is exactly how we're supposed to be living.

So that was my lesson yesterday. I wish it was the last time I'd have to be reminded of it, but it won't be. I will still bristle at my perceived unfair lot in life, but God will faithfully remind me again that all He ever promised me was Himself.

This quote from Wednesday's entry of My Utmost For His Highest sums it up better than I can.

"Beware of harking back to what you were once when God wants you to be something you have never been."

One last thing...Tiffany is working on a project for her class in Greece that requires some pictures from her childhood. The professor didn't ask if it would be a convenient time to try and find those for the students who don't have them in their possession, so for the second time in a month (another project for another person) I am looking through every single picture we have. The good news is I'm pulling out some of my favorites so they can be scanned. I'll leave you with a couple of smiles for the day before I head downtown to the Grand Ole Opry. Stay tuned...

Last Night

This is the last night I will be sleeping in our apartment in GA. Maybe I should rephrase that - this is the last night I SHOULD be sleeping in our apartment in GA. Being the smart man that he is, Hamp is already conked out. He had the more physical job today while my brain was pulled in about a million different directions as I dealt with payroll issues for a new company, updated letters to creditors for my mom, personal paperwork gathering and filing, and making sure we had everything together to actually make the move. I knew there was no point trying to sleep without unwinding for a little while, so here I am!

(Side note - the washer has decided to stop working correctly for the first time in a year. Really???)

Anyway....back to unwinding. I told you about this plaque a friend gave me a couple of weeks ago, but I thought I'd try to scan it and see if I could actually show it to you and it worked.

That really is all I need to remember right now. But it's OK to remind me too!

I still have a lot of pictures on my camera waiting to be downloaded to my computer and organized into folders. Since that won't be happening anytime soon, I decided to take a few with my handy dandy iPhone today so you could share in our moving adventure.

(Side note #2 - is anyone else having major issues with dropped calls on their iPhone, especially with AT&T? I have come perilously close to throwing mine far, far away many times in recent days. Come on, AT&T; if you don't get your act together soon, you will be losing lots of customers!)

So back to pictures...I thought you'd enjoy seeing Kit as she checks out the disaster that used to be called her living room.

I guess she wasn't too upset by all the chaos because not too long afterward, I found her like this.

Maybe I should try getting in a box.....

(Side note #3 - after my computer semi-died and has been returned, we're having to get reacquainted again.  Today it prompted me to download the latest update for Internet Explorer and I guess Google was in the mix too. As a result, everything looks different and I can't find pictures like I used to be able to, so even just trying to update here is now stressful. Sigh....)

I think it's probably time to try and get some sleep. It's entirely possible that there won't be another update until we call Tennessee "home". To that end, I'll let Helen Keller say goodnight: